Does God Really Care and Love Me?

Well....these are 2 questions I have struggled with in my own life. Does God really care about me? Does He really love me? We tend to put conditions on these questions as well. If God really cared about me then this or that wouldn't have happened to me.....If God really loved me, this situation wouldn't have been so bad. We can blame Him for alot of misfortune in our life and use it as a way to question His ways or even back out of believing in Him at all. I was one of those people.

I never felt that important to God growing up. I knew there were much more important and smarter people than me in the world, so wondering if God cared was no problem for me to do. I felt He should focus His energy on the ones who were important, and that was not me. I was plain. I was quiet. I didn't understand much. I didn't know how to pray properly. I didn't go to church, nor did I own a Bible.....so God was busy with the ones who were everything I wasn't.....at least I thought so. I did believe in His existence, but had no idea what to do about it.

One day I after an illness (which I later found out was cancer), my parents came home and told me my grandmother had died that day while my brother and I were at school. This was a hard time for me. So....I played the blame game. "If God really cared about me, he wouldn't have let her die". "Why love someone at all if God is just going to take them away just when you need them the most?" "Why would a god take my family from me"? "Now I know He don't love me, or she would be here." These questions rang in my mind for years to come and shaped what path I would regret going down later in my life. The choices I made back then were awful....terrible....lowly.....demeaning.....I could go on and on, but I won't. My mindset was "Well, if God don't care about me, then I won't either."

Looking at my crooked way of thinking, I realize all these questions I had, had nothing to do with God, but everything to do with me. Realizing now that wondering if God cares or loves me is still making it all about ME. Who was I to question a holy God's ways? Who was I to be so selfish? Who was I to play God in my own life? Who was I to reject Him, when He's the one I needed the most? I am glad to say I have come to the other side of the coin, many years ago. I no longer question any of these things and know our God loves and cares for each of us, regardless of circumstances.

Someone influential in my life, told me that to begin to change the heart, it first starts in the mind. So, reading God's Word and letting it sink in our mind, is the first step to changing our heart. Over time, our hearts will soften and we can love God and people the way we were made to.

Some verses that help me know I am cared for and loved -
John 3:16-17 - God loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life. God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him.
Matthew 10:30 - Even the very hairs on your head are numbered
This verse is comforting to me....think about your hair. It grows and falls out everyday, so I'm sure the number of hairs we have changes minute by minute. That's an intricate detail we can't fathom, yet our God knows how many everyone in the world has at any given moment!
Psalm 139:13 - You knit me together in my mother's womb
Psalm 139:17-18 - How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them, were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand.
So....God thinks about us more than the number of grains of sand on the earth. Think about all the beaches and the ocean floor and kids' sandboxes. He thinks of us more than all that! Only God can do that.
Ephesians 1:4 - He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight.

Remember...our God made each of us, has purpose for us, loves us more than we could ever imagine, and is there for us, no matter what we have done. He wants us to come to him and repent. He wants our fellowship and love in return. He won't force himself on us, but allows us room to grow and come to Him.