Now What?

This week has been slightly overwhelming for me. I've had my focus steered in a whole different way since last week. See......tomorrow my youngest child turns 18 and the day after he will graduate high school. This is a bittersweet time in my life. It's a treasure to watch your kids grow to adulthood and with all of my kids now adults, our relationships are different. A good different.

I told my youngest the other day that come Monday.....no school....ever again. He's so happy about that. He wanted out of school for quite some time and he has made us so proud in thr young man he has become. However, I asked him what am I supposed to do now? I wonder who I'm going to look after? Who will I make sure is up and awake before I leave for work? Who will I buy school supplies for in the fall? Who will I take care of? As the other kids grew up, I always had more kids below them to keep focusing on. Now all that is done.

Im Remembering the book of Ecclesiastes and how God tells us that there is a time and a season for everything in this life. One chapter will finish and a new one will begin. I know this is how life works. I've had many chapters come to a close in my life, this is another one.....but the adjustment could take a little while.

The kids are close by and not moving far away or anything anytime soon.....and I don't have a problem with change, even though what I'm saying here may seem like it. Since I became a mom in 1993 for the first time, I wanted to watch my kids grow and learn. Through that watching and guiding, I was able to have such joy over the gifts in our kids that our God has given my husband and I. This is exactly what has happened. Being their mom has given me great joy and will continue to do so as they get older.....which means I get older too. Haha.

Over the past few years, I don't live past day to day. Making long term plans isn't something I spend a lot of time doing, and maybe that's wrong, but for me to just enjoy each day that God has given me is all I can do. Looking to far past that isn't for me. I am wondering "now what", but if I was smart in my thinking, I would already know God has it all figured out. He is good and deserves our praise even when we don't understand or want to admit we need him to help transition us from one chapter of our life to the next. Yes there is a time and season under heaven for everything. And yes if we know God is sovereign.....all will be just wonderful! To God be the glory! ❤️

Almost

A few weeks ago in conversation with friends, I mentioned about the fact that when school starts this fall, I won't have any kids going back to school. My youngest child graduates high school in a couple weeks. How did this happen? Haha....I know how it happened, I blinked and just like that my kids weren't kids anymore. They were grown and fending for themselves.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed all the stages my kids had, but watching them grow into older teens was my favorite time. We used to have great conversations with them as teenagers. A lot of times their friends would hang out at our house and we would all talk for hours just about life and growing and God. I treasure those times because when we had those chats, nothing else mattered. No Tv or cell phones, or computers.....just kids and good conversations and laughs. Lots of laughs were on me because my kids and their friends....and my husband liked to pick on me. (I've been told all my life that when people pick in you they really love you.....and I could feel it, believe me)

So....today.....at this point and time, I am almost done being a parent of school aged children. Wow. Never thought of it that way before. Yes, I'll always be a mom.....yes, I always be there for my kids.....yes, parenting is ever changing with each age and stage a kid is in. But, figuring out my role now is not so simple. This will take time and time is always getting away from me.

I love how God gives us grace for each day. He helps us and guides us whether we know it or not. By His grace our kids live out another day with us on this earth.  By His grace he chose to make us parents.....and making  me a parent is a bigger mystery. 😉 I am thankful for the time with my kids and how as they are grown they can now be my friend. They understand me better than anyone on most things in my life, so they can listen and help me along too. They tell me when I need to work on things or if I'm being rude or naive or just silly. I appreciate them more than they could ever imagine.

My kids may always need me, but I may need them just as much.  My husband and I are almost at the end of thr child rearing stage of our married life. Wow, this hits hard. This stage only makes me love our God all the more. His mercy and grace are evident every day that is spent with the ones we love. Anytime we can text, talk to, hug, or laugh at with those we love deeply, it is such a blessing. I'm trying to never take any precious amount of it for granted. To God be the glory!