A few months ago a bunch of women at my church and I had a Sharing Day. We met on a Saturday morning and ate breakfast together and shared our testimonies. We shared about our life before we knew Jesus and how our life changed after accepting Jesus. We all took turns and listened intently to each other. We all learned a lot about each other and made connections to one another in such a way we may never have been able to do otherwise. It was an emotional time as well as a blessing.
Before we had this day planned I took awhile to put my own testimony onto paper. To be honest it was one of the hardest things I ever did. Trying to remember my life and all the bad choices I made before I knew Jesus was very painful.....especially during my teen years. Many times as I typed on the computer I had to stop and come back to it. The part that hurt the most is the fact that I hurt my God over and over and I had no remorse, at the time, for doing so. So, bringing all this back to the surface was more painful than I want to admit.
During my own sharing time that Saturday morning I let everyone know that most of my childhood is lost. Now that I think about it....even when I was a teenager and in my early 20s, I still didnt remember much of my childhood. My poor mom tries to bring up fun times we had as a family, but I am blank. So, I don't think it has to do with my age. When I stated this on our sharing day, my friend said that maybe that is how God is protecting me from remembering things that would not be beneficial to me. From about age 13 forward I remember more than I do age 12 back. It's weird. And I wonder what I'm suppressing in there......but like my friend said......God is protecting me. From what I'm not sure.....but I trust His judgement over my own.
This is some of my drive to write so much down. Writing it down helps me remember. Writing it down will leave a legacy for my kids. Writing it down will help me help others. Writing it down reminds me of where I came from to where I am now....and where I am headed. Praise be to God!
He's always amazing me.
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