Frustration

 So often our feelings get us in trouble. I tend to be led by them at times. Being led by feelings can be troubsome because they lead us astray. For example......frustration can be a big one for me. It takes a lot to get me frustrated and I feel I am doing better, but when I get frustrated and let that feeling take over my reasoning, it's not so good. I can't communicate properly with my family when I get frustrated. It causes problems for all of us in my house. Everything I want to say comes out wrong....so I just stop talking. And sit and sulk.......which always solves the problem (sense my sarcasm here?) I play a victim. I want my own way. I want not to be frustrated. Dang I sound like a brat......but it's truth. Being led by feelings can hurt those around you.....if you let them take over.

When I was a kid, about 10 or so, my family took a trip to rehoboth beach. My mom has a friend who lives real close so we should stay with her. My dad had an old black pick up truck with a bench seat and a stick shift. So, all 4 of us climbed in to make this trip. My dad drove and I sat beside him. My brother sat beside me on the other side and my mom at the passenger door. She had the best seat. The gear shifter had to be right at my leg. Every now and then when he hit a certain gear it was touching my leg. Top it off with all my baby dolls next to me and my brother and I couldn't be touching each other too long or we would fight. We all were real close in the truck for the long drive. So......being that close and can hardly move for all those hours I was frustrated. I remember singing a lot of Tina turner on the way down that time.....why I have no idea. She has a couple good songs, but not sure why she sticks in my mind. That's beside the point, frustration is the point. Instead of looking at that time as a family event with love and a blessing of being close with my family.....I chose to be frustrated. Frustrated with close quarters......frustrated sitting next to my brother who drove me nuts......frustrated with the gear shifter hitting my leg......frustrated cause my legs were asleep. I was a whiner back then, so I whined about my legs and the closeness, but my parents weren't in the mood for me that day and told me to knock it off. Plus when your dad is next to you and knowing he had to shift to a gear that was going to hit my leg yet again.....I did as I was told and quit.

Looking back I should have been thankful to get away. Thankful I had parents who wanted to go away with us. Thankful we had a reliable truck to get us there. Thankful I could get in the ocean. Thankful the sun and sand was waiting for us to get there. I'm sure once we reached our destination I was fine......and I was a kid.....so it's hard to be grateful when we are kids. We have to learn those things through life. Maybe God used that trip to help teach me how to be thankful instead of frustrated in close quarters. Maybe God used that time so I could have a good and funny memory of my childhood with my family. Maybe God just let me be frustrated so i could think about it today and choose to be a better person because of Him. Maybe it was for me to appreciate my parents and love them for who they are. Maybe it was just because........maybe it's just so I would appreciate my life and all my God has allowed me to do and do for His glory.

Like I said.....I feel I am doing better than I was, although I have a long way to go. I am trying to look at situations in life as opportunities to grow and learn. Looking for ways to be thankful and not frustrated. I'm not anywhere close to where I was and I'm not where I ought to be. I'm in the middle and sometimes being in the middle of there and what's next is a good place to be.